52 Weeks
by drisles
Summary: Jane & Maura become mamas. Sequel to 39 Weeks.
1. Chapter 1

The wall clock across from Jane and Maura's bed read 2:37 a.m. It was the couples first night home with their baby after delivery and the fourth time they had been awoken by their hungry little peanut since they put her in the bassinet five hours ago.

"I'll grab her," Jane mumbled as she sleepily made her way over to the bassinet by their bed.

Maura yawned as she sat up against the headboard, lifting her shirt and draping it around her neck.

"Hi little baby," Jane cooed as she got back in bed and sat next to Maura, "Are you _really_ hungry or do you just like Mommy's boobs, huh?"

Maura lightly swatted her shoulder as Jane handed the baby over.

"Very funny, Jane. Are you going to make that joke every time I feed her? It's already getting old."

"Maybe I'm just jealous of all the boob action she's getting," Jane teased.

Maura made sure the baby in her arms latched on to her left breast before speaking, "Ugh," she groaned, "Absolutely nothing sexual sounds appealing right now."

"I know, I know. I'm only teasing," Jane replied, "What's it feel like, anyway?"

"Honestly, it's a little uncomfortable. I don't think I'm used to this much stimulation just yet. I've heard it can be quite painful once the milk starts to come in."

"Hm," Jane frowned, "I'm sorry."

"No, no it's ok. I kinda like it, having this one-on-one time with her."

"Good."

"Maybe you could try it sometime? I mean, not for feeding - although it is possible for you to induce lactation - but just so you can have that time with her. It could be comforting for her, or even for you, to share that bond."

Jane smiled.

"Yeah, maybe. I just might have to try that," Jane said as she looked down at the little bundle in Maura's arms, "God, she's so cute." She reached out and stroked her little cheek with her finger.

"Yes. She is," Maura agreed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why haven't you called her Elsa, yet?"

Jane looked up quickly and locked eyes with Maura.

"I...um,"

"What? What is it?" Maura questioned.

"I… we… we just can't, Maura. We can't name our daughter after a Disney princess!" Jane responded louder than intended. "We can't be those parents who just couldn't… _let it go._" Jane closed her eyes, fearing Maura's reaction, but couldn't help smile at her own use of words. There was a long pause before Maura's laughter filled the room; a refreshing noise compared to a fussy cry or whimper. Jane immediately opened her eyes to witness her wife in a fit of laughter.

Pleased with the response, Jane continued, "I mean, I know it was my idea in the first place, and if you don't want to change it, I understand. I just… I don't know. I guess all the _Frozen_ hype has taken a toll on me. I don't want little kids or, hell, even adults, bursting into song every time we introduce them to our daughter."

Still smiling, Maura looked down at their daughter who had stopped sucking, her eyes getting droopy.

"Here," Maura said, handing the baby back to Jane before readjusting her shirt.

Jane positioned her daughter against her left shoulder and gently began patting her back. After her shirt was back on, Maura rested her head against Jane's free shoulder.

"Surprisingly," Maura began, "I actually agree with you. Maybe not so much with your reasoning, although now that you point it out, I can definitely see your concern, but I don't know. She just doesn't _look_ like an Elsa to me. It doesn't feel right, which is odd because it worked while she was in me; I loved hearing you call her that, but now that she's here, something feels...off."

"So what do we do?" Jane asked as she continued to rub her daughter's back.

"Well, we still have a couple of days before we need to turn in the papers and certificate to our midwife. I guess it's a good thing we didn't fill out the certificate right away." Maura shifted and got back under the covers as Jane put their baby back in the bassinet.

Jane flicked off the light on the nightstand before snuggling in behind her wife.

"I don't have any other names picked out," Maura replied with a yawn, "She's only been here 12 hours, but I feel bad not calling her anything."

"Let's not worry about it right now. We'll think of something," Jane said, kissing the back of Maura's neck. "We can just stick with Baby, Sweetie, Peanut… Little Poop Monster, Boob Lover…"

Jane was hoping for a reaction, but smiled when she realized Maura had fallen asleep.

* * *

By the end of day two at home, both new mommies were exhausted. Part of them both thought that it would be easier, the running on no sleep thing. They had done it many times before because of their careers, but this? _This_ was a completely new level of exhaustion.

Baby (their poor nameless baby) had been extra fussy throughout the day, nothing had seemed to please her, so when she was finally quiet for the first time in hours, Maura took the opportunity to collapse on top of the mattress, her body aching.

Five minutes later, Jane emerged from the bathroom wearing a robe and using a towel to dry her hair.

"Shhhh," Maura whispered to her, even though Jane had said nothing, "She finally fell asleep after I fed her."

Jane dropped the towel and mimicked the motion of zipping her lips as she climbed into bed next to her wife. Maura immediately shifted and snuggled in close, resting her cheek on Jane's warm, damp chest.

Jane kissed Maura's head and asked, "How ya feelin', mommy?"

"Sore. Very, _very_ sore. And tired," Maura responded in a whisper, "I think my body just remembered what it went through. Everything aches."

"Aw, sweetheart," Jane said as she tugged Maura closer, "I'm sorry. You know I'd switch places with you if I could."

Maura yawned and nodded against Jane.

"When did you sleep last? For more than two hours?"

And as if on cue, their daughter started crying.

"No, no, no," Maura said in a voice laced with emotion as she rolled over, "I just fed her ten minutes ago!"

"Hey," Jane responded, stopping Maura from getting out of bed, "I got her, ok?"

Jane rolled out of bed and picked up the little peanut, cradling the fussy newborn in her arms. "Shh. It's ok, baby," Jane cooed as her daughter continued to cry.

Maura reached out, expecting Jane to pass the baby over after her cooing failed to calm her down.

"Let's go for a little walk, alright?" Jane said to the bundle in her arms. Leaning over, she kissed Maura's cheek, "Try to get some sleep, ok? I'll take her to the nursery and try to calm her down."

Maura smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight," Jane said, flicking off the lights before heading down the hall.

* * *

For twenty minutes, Jane tried everything from sitting in the rocking chair to offering her finger as a pacifier to placing Baby in the crib and making silly faces at her from above. She wasn't having any luck.

Her daughter continued to squirm and let out fussy little whimpers.

"Oh come on, baby, you're killing me here. What's wrong, huh? What can I do?" Jane asked as she paced around the room, noticing her daughter seemed to get quiet when she spoke.

"Hm," Jane said as she paused in front of the bookshelf, "I think I've got an idea."

Jane randomly grabbed a book, picked up her daughter from the crib and settled in on the L-shaped couch near the window. It took a minute to maneuver herself in a comfortable position of holding her baby and holding the book, but she figured it out.

"Alright, what do we got," Jane paused as she read the title, "Stellaluna by Janell Cannon." Jane shrugged and flipped to the first page and began reading aloud.

With each page she read, the baby in her arms got quieter and more relaxed. Just like when she was in her mommy's tummy, Jane's voice had always (well, almost always) been able to soothe her.

Jane continued to read the story about a baby bat named Stellaluna who was separated from her mother when an owl attacked them. Stellaluna had landed in a bird's nest with three little baby birds named Flip, Flutter and Pip. The mama bat agreed to adopt her but only if Stellaluna behaved like a bird, not a bat. So, Stellaluna learns to eat bugs, sleep at night and hang with her head up. Eventually, she is reunited with her mother and learns that she is in fact a bat, not a bird, which explains why Stellaluna has always felt so different and struggled to fit in with her adopted bird siblings.

Jane paused halfway through, thinking of Maura. She found it almost impossible not to think of her wife as she read the story of little Stellaluna's life. There were small similarities that couldn't go unnoticed.

Jane looked up from the book when she heard a sniffle. Maura was standing in the doorway to the nursery, eyes wet. Maura had noticed the similarities, too.

"Oh sweetheart, what's wrong?" Jane asked.

Ignoring the question, Maura responded in a whisper, "That's a very sweet story."

Jane looked at her, confused, "How did you-"

Maura pointed at the baby monitor that was accidentally left on when they tested it the other day.

"Oh no," Jane said, "I'm so sorry I kept you up."

"No, don't be," Maura replied as she made her way over to sit with her family on the couch. She sat next to Jane and rested her head on her shoulder, "Keep going, please."

"Are you sure?"

Maura nodded against her.

Jane continued, revealing Stellaluna's excitement to tell her bird brothers and sisters what it's like to be a bat. She tried teaching them how to eat berries, sleep hanging upside down, and fly during the night, but it was so different from what they were used to.

"_How can we be so different and feel so much alike?" Mused Flitter _

"_And how can we feel so different and be so much alike?" Wondered Pip_

"_I think this is quite a mystery," Flap chirped. _

"_I agree," said Stellaluna, "But we're friends and _that's _a fact."_

Jane closed the book and set it down beside her.

"That was lovely," Maura said, "Such a lovely story about family, acceptance and friendship."

"Yes, it was," Jane agreed before they both glanced down at their now quiet, sleeping baby. They turned to each other and exchanged a knowing look.

* * *

The next day, after making a quick stop on her way home from the grocery store, Jane got to work in the nursery. She took down two of the wooden letters that hung above her daughter's crib and rearranged the remaining two. After hammering in a couple of nails, she added two new letters and stepped back.

Hearing the sound of the hammer, Maura had entered the room with her daughter attached to her breast. She looked at Jane who was looking up at her work and gestured for Maura to come stand next to her; she looped an arm around Maura's waist. They both smiled up at the four wooden letters that hung next to Constance's painting.

"What about her middle name?" Maura asked as she turned to look at Jane, "As much as I love it, Leonie doesn't really fit with this."

"Hm," Jane paused, thinking back, "What about the middle name you picked before? Before we got those photos?"

"Alexander?"

"Yeah. Defender of people, right? You said it reminded you of me," Jane smirked.

They both glanced at the four letters: _L-U-N-A_.

"Luna Alexander Rizzoli," Maura said as she traced a finger along Luna's cheek, "Our sweet little Lu."

Luna made a noise against Maura's breast.

"I think she likes it," Jane said with a smile.

* * *

**A/N**: Well here it is! I hope you enjoy the new name. By the time I finished 39 Weeks, Elsa just didn't sit well with me anymore, so I felt the need to change it. I also ended up changing a few things in 39 Weeks… I removed Baldwin completely (because come on, wtf was I thinking?!) and instead wrote that Maura had liked the name Alexander for a middle name because it's her mother's maiden name and the meaning "defender of people," reminded her of Jane. Anyway, thank you for reading. Let me know what you think :)


	2. Chapter 2

It had been five days since Maura had given birth and in those five days, Maura was convinced she had shed more tears than her daughter. Her emotions were on overdrive and she felt terrible about it. Here she was with her beautiful, healthy baby girl and yet Maura was feeling sad, tired and frustrated. But she was also so utterly in love. It was too many complex and contradicting emotions for the logical Dr. Isles to comprehend.

* * *

Luna's third day home had been a good day. A beautiful day. After successfully naming their baby, Jane and Maura had unintentionally devoted the entire day to oohing and ahh-ing over what they created. They were in awe of this lovely little human.

Angela had come over around noon that day to make her girls lunch while they had nap time. Both Jane and Maura were lying on their designated sides of the bed, curled inward with Luna on her back in between, her little chest rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. While the couple knew they should be utilizing the time to get their own naps in, they couldn't help themselves. They were both completely enamored.

Jane had spent ten minutes stroking Luna's cheek with her fingertip as Maura gently ran her hand over the soft patch of dark hair.

"She's beautiful," Jane whispered, "and so soft."

"She's _ours," _Maura whispered in return. "We made this," she said as she grabbed Luna's wrist and kissed her tiny hand.

"I think we did a pretty good job," Jane responded.

Just as Maura's eyes had started to droop with a sleepy heaviness, Luna squirmed, her little hands clenched in fists. Maura couldn't be upset even if she tired. How could she be mad when she opened her eyes and saw her beautiful wife propped up on one elbow, leaning over Luna, kissing her cheek and grabbing hold of a tiny foot and bringing it to her mouth?

"You are so dang cute," Jane said as she playfully kissed the little foot, "I could just eat you up, you little stinker."

Maura was in love.

* * *

Day four was a blur. The exhaustion had set in and started to take its toll on the new mamas, Maura in particular. Her hours were spent on a constant rotation of feeding, burping, cradling and diaper changing. Jane of course offered assistance when she could, but more often than not, Maura would dismiss her and push her away. There wasn't much Jane could do when Lu was hungry and Maura didn't see the point in handing her off just to be burped, only to have Luna back in her arms ten minutes later.

Angela had been wonderful in preparing meals for her daughters, and thank god she did. If Maura had one more thing to worry about, she'd lose it completely. Maura's meals were often spent standing in the kitchen, gorging on forkfuls of pasta or fruit while burping or soothing Luna in her arms. She hadn't quite mastered multitasking while breastfeeding yet.

The only time Maura had to herself was when Jane offered to be on diaper duty (a shock to both of them), but even that never lasted long enough for it to feel like a true break. By the end of the day, the three of them were once again resting in Jane and Maura's bed with Luna nestled between them. They had sworn they wouldn't be the type of parents who slept with their baby in bed, but for at least the first week, convenience won.

While yes, it _was_ convenient, Maura found herself missing the closeness of Jane. She had these conflicting feelings of wanting to be wrapped in Jane's arms and not wanting anyone near her. Lately she had felt like a giant feeding machine. She didn't feel like a mother, she didn't feel like a wife. She simply felt used. Used and sore and tired and lonely and claustrophobic and ugh! So many contradictions, it made her head spin. And worst of all, she felt guilty. So terribly guilty for feeling this way. While she had never been more in love, her damn hormones were messing with her mind, even more so than when she was pregnant.

And as if all that wasn't enough to deal with, Maura had started to produce mature milk, causing her breasts to become even _more_ full, firm and heavy. While Jane may have liked to joke about how large they had become, Maura just felt burdened.

* * *

Day five didn't start off much better. Luna woke up with a fussy cry around 3:00am and things seemed to go downhill from there. Sitting up against the headboard, Maura flicked on the light, pulled in her knees and rested Luna against them as she undid her swaddle to reveal a cute purple onesie.

"Hi sweetheart," Maura cooed. Even though it was three in the morning it was hard to be upset when those beautiful light eyes looked up at her. Maura leaned in and kissed her cheek, "You've got quite the appetite don't you, Lu?"

Luna let out a small noise and smiled. A reflex smile, but a smile nonetheless.

Maura lifted up her shirt, leaned back against the headboard and readjusted her hold on Luna, bringing her close to her breast to begin their routine. Although this time, something was off. Maura pulled Luna away from her breast to try again... and again... and again. For some reason her daughter wasn't latching correctly and both mother and daughter quickly became frustrated. After a few more failed attempts at a proper latch, Maura was more concerned with Luna getting fed rather than her own discomfort, so she let her daughter continue to suck in a not so gentle way. It was painful.

Maura reached for her phone and sent a quick text to her midwife asking to set up an in-home appointment with a lactation consultant as soon as possible. Once the text was sent, Maura tried her best to get comfortable but the unpleasant sensation on her breast was too persistent. So instead, she sat there and cried. Slow, quiet tears streamed down her face.

A few sniffles later, Jane shifted and slowly opened her eyes, shooting a quick glance at Maura before realizing she was crying. In less than a second, Jane was at her side, cupping Maura's face and wiping tears from her cheeks.

"Hey," she whispered in a deep, groggy voice, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Maura shook her head and let out a breath as she looked down at Luna, which prompted Jane to look down as well.

In a shaky voice, Maura replied, "I can't get her to… to latch properly," Maura got out through her tears, "It hurts."

"Oh, Maur," Jane began as she leaned in to kiss Maura, but was stopped when her wife pulled away.

"No, don't. Just… don't."

"What?"

"Just go back to sleep!" Maura yelled in a frustrated voice. "There's nothing you can do anyway! Unless you have milk in those," she said as she nodded at Jane's chest, "There's nothing you can do." Her voice shook as more tears fell from her eyes and her breathing became louder.

A moment passed. Maura avoided Jane's gaze by looking down at Luna while Jane never took her eyes off of Maura. Jane was battling with her own emotions as she watched Maura so clearly struggle with her own.

"I'm sorry," Maura whispered, finally looking up at her wife.

Jane gave a sad smile and reached out with her arms, "Is she done?"

Maura looked down at Luna and noticed that she had stopped sucking, offering her breast a much needed relief. She nodded and handed her over to Jane's eager hands.

"Hi peanut," Jane whispered to the baby in her arms before looking back up at her wife who had readjusted her shirt and was now wiping the tears from her face. She looked so sad.

"Why don't you go take a shower? Have some time to yourself, alright?" Jane suggested.

Maura nodded.

"It _has_ been a while," she said in an effort to diffuse some of the tension between them.

Jane smiled.

* * *

While Maura was in the bathroom, Jane made her way downstairs with Luna clutched close to her chest.

Even though it was only 3am, Jane had a feeling she wouldn't be getting any more sleep, so she started up the coffee machine. How she managed to do it with one hand was beyond her.

As she waited for the coffee to brew, she sat down on the couch, rested her feet against the coffee table and rested Luna against her thighs.

"Hi baby," she cooed, "You just don't wanna give mommy a break do you? You've been doing so well, peanut. What changed, huh?"

Jane stared at her daughter as if expecting an answer. Luna just looked on with sleepy eyes.

"You gotta respect the boob, little one. Trust me, I'm an expert," Jane said with a laugh. "And if you love me, you'll be gentle otherwise mommy's never gonna let me touch them again."

Luna made a little noise.

"I'll take that as an agreement," Jane said as she reached for her phone.

* * *

Meanwhile, Maura stood naked in front of the bathroom mirror and nearly had a breakdown. As a woman who took pride in her appearance and the effort she put into staying fit, the sight before her made Maura quickly step into the open shower without a second glance at the mirror.

The hot water trickled down her back as Maura looked down. Her belly, although much smaller, still looked as if it were carrying a baby, but instead of being held tight, her skin was loose and saggy. As petty as it seemed, she really missed her taught, yoga-toned midsection. Her fingertips traced the indents of stretch marks and she saw the newly familiar discharge running down her leg. Maura started to cry.

In an effort to muffle the noise and wash the tears from her eyes, Maura turned her body to face the faucet and hissed as the spray roughly hit her sensitive breasts. The pain caused her to cry even more. Turning back around she looped an arm over her chest to protect herself from the water while the other tried to open a bottle of shampoo. It slipped from her hand.

And that was the final straw. Just one minor inconvenience on a growing pile of frustrations. Maura stepped away from the spray until her back connected with the tiled wall and slid down. She pulled her knees in close, rested her forehead on top of her arms and sobbed. Heavy, ugly sobs.

* * *

Jane poured coffee into two mugs as she gently bounced Luna in her arm. She was reaching for the sugar when her mother burst through the back door.

"What's wrong? Is everything alright?!" Angela questioned in a frantic voice.

"Shh! I'm trying to get her to sleep!" Jane responded in a loud whisper as she handed her mom a steaming cup. "Sit down," Jane said, gesturing to the row of barstools.

"It's almost 3:30 in the morning, Jane. You can't just text me _can you come over_ and not expect me to be concerned."

"Look, I'm sorry alright?" Jane said as she took a seat next to her mom, placing Luna in her carrier on the counter. "It's just… I was hoping you could watch her for a little bit."

Noticing something was off with her daughter, Angela prodded, "Honey, what's wrong?"

Jane sighed. "Nothing."

"Jane."

"Ugh, fine. It's Maura—"

"Is she alright?!"

"Would you let me finish?"

"Sorry," Angela said and made a motion of zipping her lips.

"She's fine, I mean I think she is, but… I don't know. It's been a rough morning with breastfeeding… Lu wasn't latching correctly and I don't know. She just seems sad. And so frustrated. I'm trying to help as best I can and I'm really trying not to get upset when she lashes out at me because I know she doesn't mean it, but it's just… it's hard." Jane sighed. "Anyway, I was hoping you could watch Luna for a little bit so I can talk to her. And to give her a little break. Can you do that?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

"Thank you."

"Where is she right now?" Angela asked.

"Taking a shower. I think it's her first one since we've been home."

"Poor thing."

"Yeah," Jane said as she hopped off the stool, "I'm gonna go check on her."

"Alright, take your time."

"Thanks, ma."

"And Janie?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't take it personally, alright? I've been through this three times before and it's perfectly normal for her to feel what she's feeling. It's a big change and her emotions are all over the place. She's probably in shock at the lack of time she has to herself. It's very overwhelming, but it'll pass. Just be there for her, ok?

In an uncharacteristic move Jane leaned in and hugged her mother.

"I love you, ma. Thank you."

"I love you too sweetheart. Good luck."

* * *

Jane approached the bathroom door with caution and gently knocked.

"Hey Maur?" She asked, "Are you alright in there?"

She didn't hear a response, so she knocked once more, a little louder this time and called out again, "Hon?"

Still nothing. A part of Jane wanted to walk away and just let her be, but the cop instinct in her was telling her otherwise.

"I'm coming in, ok?" She said as she slowly opened the door and shut it behind her.

When she saw her wife huddled in the corner of the shower, she had to resist every urge to not run in there and hold her. Jane took a few steps closer until she was at the opening of the shower.

"Maura?" She asked gently.

Startled, Maura looked up and greeted Jane with red, puffy eyes.

The sight broke Jane's heart and she could no longer resist the urge. She began to lift up her t-shirt when Maura called out, "No! Don't. I don't want to see your… your _perfect_ body right now. I can't handle it!" Maura cried.

Jane let her shirt fall back down against her skin and without a care in the world she stepped into the shower.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked in confusion and concern for Jane's clothing which was instantly soaked.

"If you think I'm gonna let a little water stop me from finding out what's wrong, you are sorely mistaken. Come on," Jane said as she reached her hands out to help Maura stand.

Maura's sobs continued as she barked back a response, "I don't want you to see me like this!"

"Too late," Jane said, "Come on, stand up."

"No!"

"Maura. Stand. Up. I know you're feeling sad and self-conscious but that doesn't mean you get to shut me out! Stand up!" Jane yelled louder than she intended, her voice laced with emotions. She herself was on the verge of tears.

Reluctantly, Maura outstretched her hands and let Jane pull her up and lead her over to the small bench in the shower and sat her down before turning off the water. Maura took the few seconds to try to cover herself up as much as possible. The effort was in vain. Jane kneeled in front of her wife and took both hands in her own, leaving all parts of Maura exposed. But the only place Jane looked was her eyes.

Maura shifted uncomfortably at the level of exposure as tears continued to trail down her cheeks.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

"No," Maura said weakly.

"Maura," Jane replied in a stern voice as she squeezed her wife's hands, "Please talk to me," she bit back a sob of her own, "Don't shut me out. _Please_."

A few minutes passed as they both stared at one another with tears in their eyes.

"I," Maura began, but cleared her throat, "I was trying to open the shampoo bottle but it slipped from my hand."

Before Jane could interject with a "that's it?" comment, Maura continued. "It slipped from my hand because I was trying to do it with one hand," Maura took a deep, shaky breath, "Because the water pressure was hurting by breasts, so I had to cover them with my arm and the bottle slipped and I got frustrated. I'm so frustrated!" She yelled as her emotions started to get the best of her again.

Jane squeezed the hands she was holding.

"I can't even wash my own hair! And I feel hideous!" Maura choked out through her tears, "I'm covered in stretch marks, my stomach is flabby, I'm practically living in sanitary pads and, and—" she breathed in heavily, "It's no wonder you don't touch me anymore!" She managed to get out before another sob coursed through her body.

"Because you won't let me!" Jane yelled back. Not in anger, but frustration and sadness. "God damn it, Maura! You know I think you're beautiful."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not, I—" realizing she wasn't going to get anywhere with Maura in this state, Jane stopped. "Come on," she said as she stood up, pulling Maura up with her.

This is not what Maura had expected after her outburst.

"What?"

"Just come on," Jane said as she let go of Maura's hands and turned around to allow her wife some privacy, "Go get in the tub."

Maura's brow ruffled in confusion, but decided to follow the instruction. She stepped out of the shower and got into the free standing tub, once again pulling in her knees to shield herself.

"Can I look now?" Jane called from the shower.

"Yes," Maura said softly, her voice feeling raw from the display of emotion. She felt like she was having an outer body experience. She didn't like what she was saying and she didn't like how she was acting, but she couldn't stop.

Jane took a deep breath before stepping out of the shower and making her way over to the tub. She knelt beside it and turned on the faucet.

"Can you scoot up a bit?" Jane asked as she reached for the removable handshower.

Maura did as instructed, still sitting with her knees against her chest.

"Tilt your head back a little. Please." Jane instructed.

Again, Maura did as she was told, but curiosity got the best of her, "What are you doing?"

"Shh. Just relax."

Jane tested the water temperature before slowly bringing it up to Maura's head, letting the warm water soak her hair and trickle down her back.

After a few minutes, she put down the handshower and reached for the lavender-mint shampoo, squeezing a healthy amount in her hands before threading them through Maura's damp hair, massaging her scalp.

And that's when Maura figured it out. Jane was washing her hair. The sweetness of the gesture was overwhelming and Maura let out another shaky breath as fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. This time she was crying for an entirely different reason.

Jane noticed the tears but decided not to comment. Instead she continued to rinse out the shampoo.

After a few moments, Maura asked, "Where's Lu?"

"Downstairs with my ma."

"But it's not even 4:00am?"

Jane shrugged. "People do crazy things for the ones they love."

She let her hands linger for a few moments after all the soap had been washed out of Maura's hair, simply enjoying the touch. Reluctantly, she pulled back and reached for the bar of soap, handing it to Maura.

"I'll let you finish cleaning up," Jane said before leaning in and placing a sweet, gentle kiss on Maura's temple. "I'm gonna go check on them."

Jane was halfway out the door when she heard Maura's quiet voice call out.

"Jane?"

Jane turned, "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Jane smiled and exited the bathroom.

* * *

"How is she?" Jane asked her mother upon entering the living room.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Jane let out a small laugh which was lacking in humor, "She's… she'll be fine."

"You know I'm happy to watch her for a little longer if you want me to," Angela said, "But she's getting a little fussy. I think she's hungry."

"I'm sure she is," Jane said, taking Luna from her mother's arms, "It's been a little over an hour since her last feeding… which didn't go very well."

"I'll tell ya what, you bring her upstairs, let Maura feed her and I'll start some breakfast for the two of you."

"It's 4:00am, Ma."

"So? You're both up aren't you? And hungry?"

"True."

"Now, shoo. And bring Luna back down when she's done. I'll watch her for as long as you need me."

Jane smiled and headed upstairs.

* * *

Maura was sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing lotion on her legs when she heard a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," she said in worn-out voice.

"Hey," Jane responded.

"She must be hungry," Maura stated as she reached her arms out.

Jane nodded, feeling so grateful that her wife didn't make her ask, didn't make her feel like a burden.

Maura leaned back against the headboard, pulled in her legs to sit pretzel style, and slipped open her robe. She hissed as she felt Luna's mouth make contact with her breast.

Jane frowned at her wife's discomfort and sat down across from her, mirroring her position.

"Still not right?" Jane asked gently as she reached out to rest a hand on Maura's knee.

Maura shook her head, doing her best to keep from crying again. Jane gave her a comforting squeeze.

Fifteen minutes passed before Maura spoke.

"I set up an appointment with a lactation consultant. She's stopping by this afternoon."

"That's good!" Jane replied, hoping her enthusiasm would make her wife feel better.

Maura shook her head again. "I feel like a bad mom," she said through tears, "I don't want to be a bad mom."

Just when Jane thought she'd heard it all, every heartbreaking confession, Maura revealed the most painful one of all.

Jane reached up to Maura's cheek, forcing her to look at her, "Oh honey. You're not. You are _not_ a bad mom. You're won—" She was cut off by an all too familiar voice.

"Hi babies," Angela said as she made her way across the bedroom with a tray in her hands, "I made breakfast," she beamed as she sat down the tray on the end of the bed.

"Ma!"

"What? I thought it would be easier if I brought it up here instead of making you come downstairs," she said as she stepped closer to her family.

Maura was quickly wiping at her face, doing her best to look composed in front of the Rizzoli matriarch.

"Let me take her off your hands for a while, alright honey?" Angela asked as she reached down to take Luna from her mother's arms.

"No, Angela it's ok. I can handle it."

"I know you can, sweetie. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve a break. It's ok to ask for help, baby." Angela said, scooping up Luna and leaning in to kiss Maura on the cheek, "Asking for help doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you a smart one."

Angela's words made Maura burst into tears.

"Angela," she choked out.

"Shh," Angela protested, "I know," she said turning her attention towards Jane, who was also crying, "You girls get some rest. I'll be downstairs if you need me. I love you both."

Jane couldn't formulate a response, but hoped her mother could see the gratitude in her eyes.

"And eat those pancakes!" Angela called as she made her way down the hallway with Luna in tow.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, after Angela's words and bunny pancakes had been digested in silence, Jane and Maura found themselves under the covers.

"Hi," Maura whispered in the semi-darkness.

"Hey," Jane whispered back.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for earlier. I was just—"

"Frustrated. It's ok, Maur. I know how hard this is for you. And yes, it hurts me to see you so sad and it hurts when you take it out on me, but I get it. I know you're used to being alone and being in a relationship with me and my loud crazy family was hard enough for you to adjust to, so I can't even imagine what it feels like for you to have this little baby who needs you constantly, but you're doing so great, Maur. But you need to promise me that you'll talk to me. Let me help you. Don't shut me out. _Please_ don't shut me out."

"I promise," Maura whispered, her voice once again laced with emotion. "I won't. I won't shut you out. I'm so sorry."

"Can I hold you now?"

"Please" Maura replied eagerly as she quickly nuzzled herself up next to Jane. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

**A/N**: Well that was a doozy to write! Thank you all for the overwhelming support for the previous chapter. You are all very kind. I would love to hear your thoughts on this one :) And for all you folks who like visuals, check out my tumblr page for a photo of what I envision their bathroom to look like. Just look at my 'Forever' tag.

Also, to my guest reviewer: I know the feminine version of Alexander is Alexandria, but I didn't feel obligated to abide by that rule. I'm sorry you don't like the name.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Yep, name change! _Forever_ is now _52 Weeks_.

* * *

"Well that went well, huh?" Jane asked Maura as they walked out of the birthing center after Maura and Luna's two-week check up.

"Mhmm," Maura responded, "Perfectly healthy, although I'm a little concerned that she's underweight."

"But that's an easy fix, right? Allison said it was because of those couple of days when Lu was having trouble latching. Now that she's perfected the boob sucking, we're good to go," Jane smirked, "She's definitely my daughter."

Maura shook her head and couldn't help but laugh, "You and the boob jokes."

"Never gets old."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Maura said as they reached their car.

"Lu likes 'em."

"Your jokes or my boobs?" Maura playfully joked back.

"Look at you with the snark, damn. We've clearly been together too long," Jane teased.

"Not possible."

Once Luna was safely secured in her carseat, Jane hopped in the drivers seat and Maura took her spot in the back next to Lu, still not ready to let her daughter be by herself.

"So," Jane said as she pulled out of the parking lot and glanced in the mirror to look at Maura, "I was thinking since you haven't been out much, we could spend the day away from the house. Grab a late brunch, maybe head over to our favorite little park for a while? I mean, if you're feeling up to it."

Maura smiled at Jane's reflection in the mirror, "I'd like that very much."

"Good."

They continued to ride in silence until Maura's curiosity got the best of her, "Where are we going for brunch?" she asked.

"It's a secret. But I'll give you a hint… we've never been there before."

"Well that really narrows it down," Maura huffed in annoyance. Jane just smiled.

"Don't worry, I think you'll like it."

A few minutes later, Jane parallel parked and helped Maura remove the carseat from it's base to carry Luna.

"We should've brought the stroller," Maura said, shutting the car door.

"It's alright, the restaurant is just a block away. This thing isn't too heavy," Jane replied.

The couple strolled down the street, hand in hand. Maura absolutely thrilled to be out of house.

"Alright," Jane said as she stopped in front of the restaurant, "We're here."

"What's so special about this-_oh_," Maura's thought stopped as she looked up to read the sign, "Cafe Luna," she whispered. Turning to Jane, Maura displayed a toothy grin, "You are _such_ a softie."

"Shh," Jane said before kissing Maura on the cheek, "That's our little secret. Come on, let's eat. I already know what I'm getting… the s'mores french toast stuffed with chocolate marshmallow creme."

Maura's eyes widened.

"Or the Nutella stuffed french toast, I haven't decided."

"That sounds extremely unhealthy," Maura began, "Let's get both."

Jane was about to whine with a, _but mauraaaa,_ when Maura's words finally caught up with her. She looked over at her wife who was grinning proudly.

"I knew there was a reason I married you," Jane said.

"Yes, you've told me," Maura responded, doing her best not to laugh and mess up her delivery, "my breasts, right?"

Jane burst out laughing, "Oh my god. I love you."

* * *

An hour or so later, bellies stuffed with Nutella and marshmallow fluff, the Rizzoli-Isles family settled beneath the shade of a giant tree at their favorite park. The sun was warm, the breeze was gentle and Maura could not be happier.

"She did pretty great for her first day out," Jane said as she lay down on the large Red Sox blanket, reaching out to grab Lu from her mommy's arms. She settled the sleepy little baby against her chest while Maura fixed her shirt and folded up the little bib she used for burping.

"She did," Maura agreed, placing the cloth in Lu's diaper bag before laying down next to Jane, snuggling in close and resting her head on Jane's shoulder, "I'm surprised she lasted through brunch without being fussy. We probably shouldn't get used to that."

"Probably not. But it was nice."

"Yes, it was," Maura agreed. "I can't believe she's already two weeks old."

"They grow up so fast," Jane teased.

"I'm serious! Just look at her, Jane. She's already getting bigger and she's focusing more. Sleeping less," Maura said as she reached out to stroke Luna's chubby little cheek.

"I know, I can't believe it either. She's getting so big. And cuter by the minute."

The threesome sat in a comfortable silence, reveling in perfect weather and the time spent together as a family. Jane closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of her two favorite people against her while Maura watched as Luna's eyes slowly fluttered shut.

Maura prolonged the silence for a few minutes longer before speaking, "I should really put her in the carrier; let her sleep on her back," she said as she sat up.

"But I like her baby snuggles," Jane replied with a pouty face.

Maura said nothing, just gave her wife "the look."

"Fine," Jane conceded with a huff and handed Luna over to her mommy. She closed her eyes as Maura tucked Lu into her carrier and adjusted the cover to block out the sun; placing it near Jane so they could both keep an eye on their daughter.

Once done, Maura rejoined her wife. Opting to lay on top of Jane instead of next to her. She straddled Jane's left leg between her own and looped her right arm beneath Jane's left to hold onto her shoulder.

"What about my snuggles?" Maura asked before placing a quick kiss on Jane's lips.

"I like those too," replied, "I like them a lot."

Maura smiled and enjoyed a moment to gaze down at her wife; a moment to re-familiarize herself with every detail of Jane's face.

There was just one thing missing.

"Hi," Maura whispered and Jane smiled.

"Hi."

"There it is," Maura said as she brought her left hand to Jane's cheek, tracing the dimple that was now visible. She leaned in and kissed it before laying her head down on Jane's chest.

"Is it weird," Maura began as she reached out with her left hand to grab Jane's right, "That I miss you, even though we've spent everyday of the past two weeks together? Miss feeling you against me. Being with you. Just the two of us."

"Not weird," Jane responded, wrapping her left arm around Maura's waist, drawing patterns with her fingertips, "I feel it to."

Maura tilted her head and placed a warm kiss on the skin of Jane's neck. "I miss kissing you. Feeling you. Making love to you. Being intimate." Another kiss.

Jane groaned. "Keep talking like that and I'm going to have to arrest myself for indecent exposure."

Maura let out a laugh, the air tickling Jane's neck. "Sorry, I really shouldn't be teasing you when I'm not even ready. I mean, _I'm_ ready, it's just… my body's not."

"I know," Jane replied, "It's ok."

"Is it?" Maura asked, "I mean, it's been a while. Have you been...relieving yourself?"

"Maura!"

"What? It's an honest question. I'm just curious. We haven't had sex in over a month. I just want to make sure your needs are being met."

A few moments passed without a response, so Maura shifted her leg between Jane's, applyling pressure to the area in question.

"Ah! _Maura_," Jane said in a warning voice.

"You didn't answer my question."

"_You_ don't play fair."

"Life's not fair," Maura playfully replied, pressing her thigh harder against Jane, "So, have you?"

"I…" Jane began, "Yes, I have ok? I'm sorry!"

Maura propped herself up on her elbow to look down at Jane, "Don't. Don't be sorry."

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not, it's perfectly natural. Although," Maura's voice lowered to a seductive tone, "Next time you… get the urge," she whispered in Jane's ear, "You should let me know. I'd be happy to offer my assistance. Or watch. I'd be very happy to watch."

"Oh you would, would you?" Jane asked as her hands traveled down Maura's back, giving her ass a firm squeeze before rolling them over, pinning Maura beneath her.

"I'll have to keep that in mind," she said before lowering her body down and kissing Maura slowly.

"Indecent," Maura gasped between kisses "exposure...mmm… remember?"

After one more passionate kiss, Jane reluctantly rolled off of Maura, leaving them both breathing heavily.

"We need to do that more often," Maura managed to get out.

"Makeouts with heavy petting, I'll add it to our schedule," Jane said with a grin and rolled her head to the side to look at Maura.

Maura did the same and reached down to link her fingers with Jane's. "I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

They shared one more smile before turning their attention to the sky, looking up to watch the clouds.

A few minutes later, Jane's soft, low voice broke the silence, "It's nice," she said as she continued to look up at the sky, "Seeing you like this. Happy."

Maura titled her head to the side to once again look at her wife, her smile fading as she listened to Jane's words.

"I'm sorry," Maura replied before returning her gaze to the clouds. "About last week, I mean. I've been meaning to talk to you about it, we just haven't had the time."

"I'm not mad at you," Jane said firmly.

"I know, I know you're not," Maura responded with a squeeze to Jane's hand, "But I'm still sorry. The way I treated you… the way I spoke to you… it wasn't ok. You've been nothing but supportive and I wish I hadn't lashed out at you. I didn't mean to shut you out. It's just been a lot for me to adjust to."

"I know."

"I appreciate how understanding you've been. I could never do this without you and I'm so grateful I have you in my life; so grateful for your love. Thank you. For everything."

Jane looked over at Maura who was wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

"Aw, Maur. Don't cry. Come here," Jane said with her arms open

"I know, I know," Maura said, as she settled herself against her wife, Jane's arms tightening around her. "I just don't want you to think that I'm not enjoying this; being a mom. Or that I don't love Lu… I've never loved anyone or anything more than I love her. I just want you to know that. No matter what I say in frustration or when my emotions get the best of me, I want you to know that I love her. And I love you."

"Oh, Maura. Of course I know you love her. Of course I do. I would never, _ever_ question your love for her, sweetheart."

"I know," Maura whispered, "I just needed to say it."

The couple enjoyed a few more minutes of snuggling before that familiar little cry rang out.

"Hear that?" Jane asked, "That's baby talk for, _I know mommy_," Jane said in a mock kid voice, "_And I love you too_!"

Maura laughed as she sat up, "You're such a dork."

Jane joined in on the laughter, "Come on, let's get out of here. This dork is going to need some... _assistance…_ when we get home," Jane winked.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this update. As always, I would love to hear your feedback :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: Well… this wasn't exactly what I had planned for this chapter… it just sorta happened. Hope you enjoy. Notice the rating change. As always, feedback is appreciated :)

* * *

Jane and Maura's successful day out turned into a successful night home. Maybe Luna had sensed that her mama was about to get lucky or maybe she really was just tired; either way, Jane was very appreciative of her cooperative little baby.

After returning home from the park and enjoying a quick dinner, Jane and Maura found themselves snuggling on the couch watching a movie they'd seen a million times while their daughter napped. Neither of them were really paying attention to the action happening on the screen. Jane was distracted by the weight of her wife on top of her; once again amazed by how good it felt, that feeling of warmth, protection, comfort, _love_ all rolled into one. Jane was content with the comfort, the distraction. Until she felt Maura's lips against her throat.

"_Maura_," she replied, trailing her hands down Maura's back before slipping them beneath her shirt, exploring smooth skin with her fingertips.

Maura responded with another kiss. A bite. A rolling of hips.

"If you keep doing that, I won't be able to stop touching you," Jane whispered as her hands dropped lower, giving Maura's ass a firm squeeze.

"I don't want you to stop," Maura said, kissing below Jane's ear.

"But we still have, like, a month before you're cleared, for, you know, this...stuff," Jane replied, impressed with the length of her sentence.

"Did you forget our conversation from earlier, detective?" Maura whispered; her tongue trailing down Jane's neck as her left hand reached beneath Jane's tank top to squeeze her wife's breasts.

"I...um," Jane was finding it hard to concentrate as Maura's thumb grazed over her nipple and her mouth sucked roughly at her collarbone.

"I want to watch you," Maura purred, her voice vibrating against Jane's neck. She shifted her leg to press between Jane's thighs, "I want to watch you come."

"Jesus… _fuck_," Jane responded with a roll of her hips against Maura's thigh.

Maura reached her hand out to the coffee table, grabbing the remote to turn off the TV, "And I want to _hear_ you come."

Jane let out a groan as Maura removed herself from Jane's body and sat back on her heels between Jane's legs. Her loose-fitting sweater revealing a pale, freckled shoulder.

"Will you let me?" Maura asked as her hands latched onto to Jane's sweatpants, slowly pulling them down Jane's legs, quickly noticing her wife went without underwear. Maura smirked, "Based on your lack of undergarments, it appears you did remember our conversation." She removed the pants completely and tossed them behind the couch.

Maura bent down to kiss the insides of Jane's thighs. "So, will you let me?"

"Wh-what?" Jane questioned, her mind and body in overdrive... It had been so long since they had touched like this.

"Will you let me watch you?" Maura asked as she sat back on her heels, resting her hands on Jane's knees, exposing her even more.

"I... Yes," Jane sighed; her left hand skimming down her body until her fingertips met curls.

"You're nervous," Maura stated, noticing Jane's hesitancy to touch herself.

"Wha?" Jane said, making eye contact with Maura, "I just... We've never done... _This_ before."

Maura paused, her face clearly depicting her surprise that they had not, in fact, done this in front of one another before. They never really had reason to.

"Don't be nervous, it's just me," Maura said as she gripped Jane's wrist, guiding it to where she knew Jane needed it most.

Jane gasped as her fingers came in contact with her own arousal, shocked at how wet she already was.

Still sensing her wife's hesitancy, Maura positioned herself on all fours above Jane, resting her hands on both sides of Jane's head, her knees still between Jane's legs.

Jane's eyes watched her every move.

Maura leaned in to place a gentle kiss on Jane's lips, a gentle kiss that was quickly joined by tongues and the occasional biting of teeth. Five solid minutes of heavy breathing through noses, the thrusting of Jane's hips, and moans from Maura's mouth was all it took for Jane to finally stroke her fingers through her wetness. In addition to the kissing, Jane's free hand had found its way beneath the fabric of Maura's yoga pants, firmly palming the ample flesh. The action caused Maura to drop down on her elbows in an effort to stop herself from becoming dead weight against Jane's body.

Reluctantly, Jane broke away from the kiss and Maura dropped her forehead to rest against her shoulder. Jane tilted her head and leaned in, her mouth latching on to Maura's neck.

"Mmmm," Maura exhaled. Kisses to her neck would always be her unraveling. Putty in Jane's hands.

"I wish I could feel you inside me," she moaned into Jane's ear, "I can't wait for you to fuck me again."

"God damnit, Maur," Jane panted.

"Wh-what do you think about? When you touch yourself and I'm not around?" Maura asked in an effort to get Jane's mouth off her neck so she could focus.

"You," Jane said before biting down on Maura's neck, her fingers still slowly moving through folds.

Maura laughed at the response. Reluctantly, she removed herself from Jane's assault and sat back to remove Jane's tank top.

Once removed, Maura leaned in to trail kisses down Jane's throat.

"Do you replay scenes we've already experienced, or do you think of fantasies," Maura's asked as she swiped her tongue over the patch of skin between Jane's breasts. The action causing Jane's hand on her ass to squeeze tighter.

"B-both," Jane managed to get out.

"Tell me," Maura whispered before enclosing her warm, wet mouth on Jane's breast.

"I," Jane gasped, "Jesus, Maura."

Maura's mouth sucked harder, "Tell me, Jane."

"I-I think about that time... that time in the hotel af-after that charity event..."

Maura's mouth trailed lower.

"...when I fucked you on the couch..."

"Mmm," Maura moaned against her abdomen.

"...And on the floor..."

"I think I have a scar from the rug burn."

"You do," Jane panted, "I kiss it every time I see it."

"What else?" Maura asked before trailing her tongue back up Jane's stomach.

"Or that time on the plane, when I made you come..."

"What about that time," Maura began as she returned her mouth to Jane's breast, "At work, late at night after everyone had gone home and I found you in the basement looking through boxes of old case files?"

Jane moaned just thinking about it, her fingers picking up speed.

"And you fucked me so hard against the shelves we had to spend over an hour picking up all the fallen boxes and files?"

"Jesus," Jane gasped. Maura swearing was one of her favorite sounds. The fact that no one would expect it from the prim and proper Dr. Isles made it that much sexier. If people only knew how dirty her mouth was...

"Or the time you got me drunk and I went down on you in the bathroom at the Dirty Robber?"

"Fuck," Jane was getting close. With her free hand, she tangled her fingers in Maura's hair and pressed her against her breast. That dirty mouth of hers was doing wonderful things and she didn't want her to stop.

Maura bit down gently as her right hand traveled down to join Jane's; her fingers rubbed the bundle of nerves.

Jane's hand moved from Maura's head to the couch cushion in an effort to not pull Maura's hair out, giving Maura the opportunity to move her mouth from Jane's breast and back up to her neck.

"Fucking shit... _Fuck_... Oh my... Mmpf..."

"That's it, Jane," Maura whispered before leaning back on her heels. This whole thing started because she wanted to watch, so she figured she should at least do that.

Maura was mesmerized as she watched those long, familiar fingers pump in and out of Jane's center. Slick noises and Jane's heavy breathing filled the room. Music to Maura's ears.

Maura continued her ministrations on the bundle of nerves, watching as Jane arched her back and palmed her own breast.

"Come for me, sweetheart."

And she did. Hard. Over a month without sex will do that to a person.

Jane collapsed against the couch cushions, eyes closed, panting heavily.

Maura smiled at the sight before her. Secretly proud that she was able to make Jane feel this way just from memories...and a little bit of touching.

She allowed Jane to catch her breath before she reached down for Jane's wet hand, bringing it up to her mouth. Jane opened her eyes just in time to watch her wife suck the set of digits into her mouth; moaning at the taste that had been absent from her life for far too long.

"Fuck," Jane said for the umpteenth time that night before roughly pulling maura against her and kissing her, "I can't wait to fuck you," she rasped as her hands groped every accessible inch of Maura's body.

Maura laughed into the kiss, "Mmm, believe me, I can't wait either."

They spent the next hour or so kissing and grinding against one another; so much time had passed since they had been intimate and they still had over a month to wait before they could truly make love again, so Maura took the opportunity to just feel her wife against her.

They didn't stop until Luna's voice rang out over the baby monitor. Back to reality.

"Looks like it's time for another type of boob sucking," Jane said with a laugh.

Maura rolled her eyes, "Put your clothes on," she said as she made her way upstairs.

"You're the one who took them off!"

"I'm also the one who got you off," Maura yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Touché."


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Maura asked frantically as she busied herself around the kitchen.

Jane opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted, "You know what, no, I'll just tell Angela to go without me. It's fine, really. I'll stay."

"Maura," Jane said, gently rocking the baby in her arms, "Go. We'll be fine. I mean, you're just going to the market to get ingredients for dinner tonight, right? I think I can handle an hour alone with our child."

Maura turned to Jane after closing the refrigerator door, "I know, I know. Of course you'll be fine. I just," her sentence died on her lips as she walked over to stand next to Jane, peering down at Luna. She was silent for a moment longer before Jane's soft voice pulled her out of her daze.

"Go," Jane urged, "I promise I'll call you if anything happens," Maura looked up at Jane with wide eyes, "_If_, Maura, _if_. But nothing's going to happen."

"I-," Maura tried to think of another excuse as to why she should stay, but failed, "Ok. I just fed her 20 minutes ago, so she should be fine, but there's a bottle of pumped milk in the fridge. You know how to-"

"Yes, Maura! Just go," Jane responded with a laugh.

"You're right, I'm being silly," Maura said before leaning down to kiss Luna's cheek, "I'll be back soon. I love you."

Jane kissed the top of Maura's head, "I love you too. Now go," she said, playfully slapping Maura's bottom.

When Jane finally heard the garage door close, she looked down at the baby in her arms, "You are gonna break her heart," Jane said with a laugh as Luna sucked on her little fist, "She can barely go to the grocery store without you. I don't know how she's gonna handle going back to work… oh god, and your first day of preschool!"

Jane made her way into the living room, gently placing Luna in her little bouncy chair, complete with a planet and stars mobile.

After Lu was situated, Jane plopped down on the couch and turned on a baseball game. Lu lasted approximately 7 minutes before her wail echoed throughout the room.

"Aw, come on peanut, the game's just getting good," Jane huffed as she got up from the couch and bent down near her daughter, "Look," she cooed, tapping one of the planets. The action caught Luna's attention for half a second before she continued to cry.

"Alright, come on baby," Jane said as she scooped up Lu, "What's wrong sweetheart? You can't be hungry again already, can you? Mommy just fed you."

Half an hour later after a failed attempt at a feeding, a diaper change and rocking Luna in her arms, the crys hadn't let up. "Come on sweetheart," Jane said with a hint of panic in her voice as she looked down at her daughter who was squirming on the changing table in her nursery, "I wish you could tell me- what the?" Jane looked down at her shirt and noticed a large wet spot from spit up, "Gross," she said and swiftly discarded her top, leaving herself standing in nothing but jeans and a bra. That gave her an idea.

Jane picked up Luna and headed over to the L-shaped couch they kept in the nursery. Laying down, she placed her daughter on her chest, "How 'bout some skin-to-skin time, huh? Mommy always says how important it is," she whispered, "And you get tummy time, too."

Lu squirmed a bit before quieting down. Jane laughed as she watched her daughter try to lift her head up a few times before giving up and resting her cheek on her Mama's chest. Jane closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying the one-on-one time and the feel of Luna's soft baby skin against her own.

A few minutes later Jane felt a little hand on her breast and a mouth on the skin left exposed by her bra. Jane opened her eyes to see that Luna had moved her head closer to Jane's breast and was now trying to suck on it. "Oh my god," Jane through a laugh, "you really _are_ my daughter."

"Ah, fuc-, I mean… fudge it. If you're topless, I might as well join ya, huh peanut?" Jane asked as she sat up briefly to unhook her bra and toss it aside. She placed a pillow behind her and lay back down. Luna's mouth quickly found her Mama's nipple. "You're not gonna get anything out of these ones, baby, but if it makes you feel better, go for it," Jane said as she watched on in awe. The sensation took a few minutes to get used to and it did feel a little weird, but it was nice sharing this moment with her. Luna shifted her head and her little eyes looked straight up at Jane. Jane melted. "Hi, baby," she whispered, feeling herself get emotional, "Hi."

Jane watched for a few minutes longer before closing her eyes and rubbing her hands gently up and down Luna's bare back, stopping occasionally to play with her little toes.

Before long, she heard her wife's voice echo through the house, "Jane?" she yelled from downstairs, followed by Angela's reassuring voice, "I'm sure they're fine, sweetheart. Jane's probably just changing a diaper…"

Jane laughed at the exchange and listened for Maura's footsteps up the stairs.

"Jane?" She called again.

"In here, Maur," Jane replied.

A minute later, Maura stood in the doorway of the nursery. Jane watched as her face flooded with relief, followed by confusion before finally settling on a soft smile.

Maura stepped into the nursery and made her way over to her family, pausing briefly to take in the sight before removing the pillow that was supporting Jane and took a seat. Jane lifted her head before lowering down to rest on Maura's lap. Maura's fingers tangled in dark locks, gently scratching Jane's scalp. It was one of Jane's favorite feelings.

"How'd it go?" Maura asked as she looked at the loves of her life.

"Good."

"And you're topless because…?" Maura asked with a laugh.

"Ok, ok. It was all good and then she started crying and I tried everything and she wouldn't stop and then I noticed spit up on my shirt and I figured why not have some skin on skin time and... here we are."

"Here we are," Maura repeated.

Moments passed as the three sat in silence; Maura's fingers never stopping.

"I can see why you like it," Jane said after a while, "Breastfeeding, I mean."

"When she's cooperative, yes. I enjoy it very much. It's very special."

"And when she looks up at you with those eyes… gah," Jane said, "She just turns me into mush."

Maura looked down at Jane with an adoring smile, "You know, you could start pumping a few times a day to induce lactation. If you want to turn into mush more often."

Jane just laughed, "I don't want to take that time away from you."

Maura frowned, "You wouldn't be taking anything away from me Jane."

"I know, I just…. I don't know."

"Think about it," Maura said.

"I will."

A few hours later the Rizzoli-Isles house was filled with love and laughter and the scent of Angela's Italian cooking. It was the first Sunday dinner since Luna's birth and everyone was excited to resume the tradition. The previously named Rizzoli Family Dinner was now simply, Family Dinner as their hodgepodge family continued to grow and expand to include Isles' and Frosts and Korsaks.

Korsak was flirting with Angela in the kitchen and helping her finish up dinner while the rest of the family had scattered around the backyard. Frankie, his girlfriend Jess, Tommy and Lydia were all sitting around the porch table, drinking beer and playing cards. Constance and Henry sat on the edge of checkered blanket, watching in amusement at their granddaughter and daughter-in-law.

Both Jane and Luna lay on their bellies, face-to-face, Luna eagerly trying to lift her head up and support herself. She was getting stronger by the day, but she just wasn't quite strong enough to keep her head up. After a few more tries, she rested her against the blanket. That's when T.J ran over and joined his baby cousin, laying next to her, looking into her green eyes. He reached out with his little hand and Luna grabbed onto his finger. T.J. giggled.

"Hi baby Lulu," he said, "You is my most favoritest cousin." His only cousin, really, but no one wanted to point that out.

Jane smiled at the nickname before sitting up, turning her attention to her mother and father-in-law.

"How are you, Jane?" Constance asked.

"She's good," Jane replied without thinking.

Henry and Constance shared a look.

Jane noticed the confusion on their face, "Wait," she said, "What did you ask me?"

"I asked how _you_ were doing, dear."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry," she said, running a hand through her hair, "I'm just so used to-"

"Putting others before yourself?" Henry butt in.

The three of them laughed.

"Yes, that's exactly it," Jane replied, "Anyway, to answer your question, I'm doing great," she said with a smile. "The first week was a little rough, for all three of us really, but it's been amazing. I," Jane paused to look at her daughter and T.J. before turning back to Constance and Henry, "I've never been so in love in all my life. Both with your daughter and your granddaughter."

Jane blushed when she saw them grin at her.

"Ugh, I know," Jane laughed, "My girls turn me into a such a fluffball, it's ridiculous."

"It suits you," Constance replied.

Maura was leaning against the porch rail, watching the entire exchange happen from afar. She didn't know what was being said, but she was happy to just watch the smiles on Jane and her parent's faces. She watched with joy at her nephew and daughter's interaction.

Maura was startled out of her gazing when she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder.

She smiled a bright smile when she realized whose hand it belonged to, "Barry," she said, turning her body to allow him to wrap his arms around her, embracing her with a warm hug. Barry Frost gave the best hugs. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, doc," he replied, hugging her tighter before letting her go.

Maura had grown to love Barry Frost. Aside from Jane, he had become her best friend and she cherished the warmth and kindness he brought to her life.

"How are you?" She asked as she pulled out of the embrace, returning to her position of leaning again the porch railing. Frost joined her.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He laughed, "But I'm good. I've missed the two of you at work… it's definitely not the same without you."

"That's very sweet," Maura replied, "I know Jane is looking forward to going back tomorrow."

"I can't believe it's been three weeks already," Frost said, turning his gaze to Jane and Luna, "She's already gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw her."

"I know," Maura said with a hint of sadness in her voice, "It's going so fast."

"Before you know it you'll be sending her off to college," Frost teased.

Maura gasped, "Don't even say that!" She said as she playfully nudged him.

They fell into a comfortable silence, watching Jane, Luna and T.J. Frost looked at Maura and smiled.

"What?" She asked.

"You look happy," he said.

Maura felt her cheeks blush, "I am."

"Looks good on you."

Angela's voice rang out from the kitchen, "Dinner!"

A couple of hours later, bellies full, the gang returned to the backyard to lounge about and enjoy the sunset.

Maura found Jane laying in the hammock she had put up months ago.

"May we join you?" Maura asked with Luna in her arms.

"Of course," Jane said, making room for her favorite girls and helping them sit down safely. The two got comfortable before Maura lifted her shirt and began feeding Lu.

"Tonight was nice," Maura said, "I've missed seeing everyone."

"Yeah, it really was," Jane agreed. "We've got a great little family, don't we?" Jane asked as she looked out at all the people most important to her.

"We certainly do."

Just then, T.J. came running across the yard, yelling along the way, "Jaaaaaane can I play with Lu-luuuuuuuuu pleeeeeease?!" He stopped as he came in contact with the hammock.

"Hey bud," Jane said, "After Maura is done feeding Lu, you can hold her, alright? But she's probably gonna be sleepy."

T.J. pouted, "Okay, fine," he said turning to look at Maura and instantly burst into a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?" Jane asked.

"Lulu is eating Momo's booby!" He said before covering his mouth and giggling even harder.

Maura's mouth opened to respond, but all that came out was a loud laugh of her own. She looked at Jane who was almost in tears.

T.J. turned on his feet and ran towards the rest of the family, yelling at the top of his lungs, "Mommy! Baby Lulu is eating Momo's booby!"

The yard erupted with laughter.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **This is a rewrite of chapter 6. I think this does a better job of explaining my choices. Everything is the same except the conversations between Maura and her mother.

* * *

Twenty minutes before Jane's alarm was set to go off, she was pulled from her slumber by the sound of Luna's cry. Next to her, Maura stirred and made a movement to get out of bed but before she could, Jane reached over and stopped her.

"I got this," she said as Maura rested her head back against the pillow, "There's a bottle of pumped milk in the fridge, right?"

Maura nodded with a yawn before asking, "Are you sure? You need to get ready."

"No, it's fine. Lu woke me up early anyway," Jane replied with a smile, "Go back to sleep."

Before Maura could protest, her eyes dropped shut and Jane slid out of bed, scooped up her fussy daughter and headed downstairs.

* * *

Half an hour later, after the alarm re-woke Maura, she slipped on her robe and headed downstairs. She was concerned that if Jane didn't start getting ready now, she'd most definitely be late on her first day back at work.

Set on taking over the mommy-role, Maura stopped in her tracks just outside the living room when she heard Jane's voice.

"Hey little Lulu monster," Jane cooed to the baby resting against her thighs, "I'm gonna miss you and mommy so much today." There was a pause as Luna made a little grunting noise and Jane laughed.

"Don't do anything too cute while I'm gone, ok?" Jane asked, a hint of emotion creeping through her voice, "I don't wanna miss anything. And you be good for mommy, you little stinker."

Mama and daughter shared a moment; wide, curious green eyes looking up into watery brown ones. "I love you, peanut."

After a few more minutes, Maura entered the room and sat down next to Jane, kissing her cheek.

"Good morning," she said in a sleepy voice and reached her arms out to take Lu from her mama, "Go get ready, I'll make coffee."

* * *

Jane returned shortly, finding her wife and daughter in the kitchen. She smiled a goofy grin as she watched Maura move around the island, quietly humming as she rocked Luna in her arms.

"Hi," Jane said, startling Maura who quickly turned around to face her. A light shade of pink colored her cheeks at being caught; her voice wasn't her strong suit.

"Coffee?" Maura deflected as she slid the to-go mug across the counter. Dark roast with too much cream and too much sugar, just the way Jane liked.

"Thanks," Jane said as she gratefully took a sip, "You know, you didn't need to wake up just to make me coffee. I would've put Lu back in her sleeper."

"I know," Maura replied, "But I didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye."

"I would've-"

"No, you wouldn't have. You would have put Lu back in the sleeper, kissed my forehead and quietly whispered goodbye."

"I...yeah. You're right."

"Of course I am," Maura teased and Jane walked around the island to loop her arms around Maura's waist, trapping her and Luna in an embrace.

"We're going to miss you today," Maura said, doing her best to hide the sadness in her voice, "But I know how excited you are to go back."

"I'm really going to miss you, too," Jane replied with the same amount of sadness, "It's going to be weird not seeing you all day… I mean… ugh, shouldn't we be sick of each other by now?" Jane laughed.

"Probably," Maura answered softly as she shifted her hold on Luna, allowing her head to rest against her chest.

"I love you."

Maura smiled.

"I love you, too, but you really should get going. You don't want to be late your first day back."

"I know, I know," Jane said before leaning down to kiss the top of Luna's head. She pulled them both in for a hug and whispered in Maura's ear, "You're going to do great today."

Maura reached up to cup Jane's cheek, "Be safe, Jane."

"Always," Jane replied before kissing Maura's lips and heading out the door.

* * *

Sometime after noon, Maura had finally gotten Luna to go down for a nap and had just sat down on the couch to take a nap of her own when the doorbell rang.

A hint of panic raced through Maura as she headed towards the door, nervous as to who might be on the other side. That fear was quickly replaced with relief and a little confusion as she looked through the peep hole.

"Mom?" She questioned as she opened the door, "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, darling," Constance replied, "I hope I'm not intruding, I just… well, last night at dinner Jane mentioned that she was going back to work today and that you'd be alone… she was worried about you and I offered to stop by… to keep you company or to help." Constance fidgeted with the bag in her hands; an uncharacteristic move. "I also brought lunch," she said, holding up the cafe bag, "Have you eaten?

Maura continued to stare, taking in the information.

"Or I could just go. I'm sorry, darling, I should've called first. I-"

"Wait!" Maura responded louder than intended. "I'm sorry, that was very rude of me. I was just surprised to see you, that's all. Please, come in," she said as she moved away from the door, gesturing for her mother to cross the threshold, "I would love the company."

"Your timing is perfect," Maura said as she followed behind her mother toward the kitchen, "I just put Luna down for a nap. Would you like to eat out on the patio?"

"That would be lovely, dear," Constance replied.

"Great." Maura smiled, "I'm just going to grab the baby monitor and I'll meet you out there. Please help yourself to a beverage."

* * *

Time passed quickly as mother and daughter enjoyed their meals as well as each other's company. This new budding relationship between them was cherished by both. Before long, they were interrupted by a noise on the monitor and Maura politely excused herself to check on Luna.

Constance couldn't help but grin as she listened to her daughter over the monitor.

"Well hello, sweetheart," Maura cooed in a voice reserved only for her daughter. "Are you ready to get up, little one? Hungry again, I bet," she said with a laugh. The gentle cry of Luna continued on for just a moment longer until Maura picked her up and cradled her in her arms. "There we go, love. You're alright."

Constance heard the sound of a kiss through the speaker before Maura's voice continued, "Guess who's here to see you?" Another pause as Luna's gurgled. "Grandma Isles," she cooed, "Come on, let's go say hi. She'll be so happy to see you."

Moments later, Maura returned to the patio with Lu in her arms.

"Sorry about that," Maura apologized as she sat down, "Do you mind if I feed her?"

"Of course not, dear. Go right ahead," Constance replied, looking off to the side for a moment to allow her daughter some privacy to get settled.

Once Luna had latched, Maura directed a goofy smile at her daughter before looking up to catch her mother staring at her in awe.

"Mom?"

Constance quickly looked up, "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked if you're alright?"

"Oh, yes of course. I'm sorry for staring, it's just…" she paused, looking off into the distance before returning her attention to Maura, "I'm so proud of you. Watching you… I'm in awe, darling. You're such a natural. It's rather breathtaking to watch," Constance said with a loving smile.

Maura blushed at the compliment and was too overwhelmed with emotion to comment just yet. Luckily her mother continued,

"I'll admit, when you first told us you were pregnant, I was worried. And I know I've told you this before, but then after Luna arrived and you had that particularly rough week I… I was worried. I thought maybe you hadn't been shown enough affection or had a good enough example on what to do - illogical of me to think, I know. But now, I'm just so happy… happy to see you like this; to see you succeeding. You're a wonderful mother, Maura. Already much better that I was," she finished sadly.

"Mom," Maura began, wiping a tear from her cheek, "Stop it. Stop," she said as she reached out to squeeze her mother's hand, "We can't keep doing this. We can't keep having this conversation every time we see each other. You were the best mother you knew how to be, ok? And look, I turned out just fine… a little weird, sure, but I'm alright."

They both laughed.

"I love you, mom and I'm so happy that you are in my life and in Luna's life now. Now please, can we move this conversation to a happier note?"

Constance laughed and wiped her cheeks, "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I love you, too. Now, a happier note… how about that nephew of yours? Your father and I nearly fell off our chairs from laughing last night at his little announcement about you and Luna."

Maura covered her face with her free hand; embarrassed, but grinning widely.

"That boy," Maura managed to get out through a laugh of her own, "is quite the little ham. I have so much love for T.J."

"Speaking of love, you and Barold looked awfully close last night."

"Mother!"

"No- Maura, no that came out wrong. That's not what I mean. I just meant that you two seem very close and it's… refreshing to see you with people who so clearly love you."

"I…" Maura paused, momentarily at a loss for words. "Yes, I suppose I do love him; over the years Barry and I have become quite close. I am very grateful for the kindness and warmth he brings to my life."

Constance smiled as her daughter continued.

"You know," she said with a small laugh, "I used to feel so bad for him back when Jane and I were still dating. Whenever we had a fight, we both went to him and he always ended up in the middle of things, but I think he always ended up on my side. I think he realized that Jane had her brother's and I had… well, I had Jane and when we fought, I had no one to turn to… until him."

Distracted, Maura removed Luna from her breast and adjusted her shirt, "Would you like to burp her?"

"I..." Constance hesitated, "Sure."

After adjusting her hold on her granddaughter, Constance asked, "For a while I thought maybe you and Jane would use him as the sperm donor."

Maura laughed, "Well, we actually thought about it. But eventually decided it would be too complicated. Barry is such a daily part of our lives that we felt it would've been… confusing. He has such a kind heart and would make such a wonderful father. We didn't want to put him in that position of not fully getting to play that part. It's not that we didn't want him to play a fatherly role in our child's life… it just, I think it would've been difficult for him. If that makes sense?"

"I think I understand."

Moments passed in silence as Constance continued to pat her granddaughter's back before switching her hold to rock her in her arms. Maura enjoyed the view.

"So," Constance began, "Are you ever planning on telling us who the donor is?"

Maura sighed heavily, "Angela keeps hounding us with that question as well."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry. I'm just curious, that's all. I completely understand if you don't want to tell me."

"No, I know. I think everyone is a little curious and rightfully so. It's just, with Angela, as much as I love her, she just can't can't keep anything to herself."

Constance smiled, "It's alright, dear, really."

They sat in silence before Maura spoke a few minutes later.

"Ian."

"Pardon?"

"Ian. Ian is the donor," Maura said without looking at her mother.

"Really?" Constance asked with her eyebrows raised. Surprised more so at the fact that Maura had told her, more than the confession of _who_ the donor is.

"Yes, I know, it does seem a bit odd."

"No, he doesn't seem like too outrageous of a choice. I mean, you loved him."

"I did. I mean, I still do, in a different way. I think initially that's why Jane was hesitant to the idea when I first brought it up. Of course she was, he's my ex."

Constance nodded, encouraging her daughter to continue if she wanted.

"I just... I wanted to know. It was really important to me to know the person helping to create our daughter. Not only for health reasons, but if Lu is ever curious, if she ever has questions, I want to be able to provide those answers. I didn't want anything to be hidden from her like it was from me; not that it matters, not when she has both Jane and I, but just in case. Once I explained that to Jane, she slowly came around to the idea."

There was a wave of silence as Maura paused, contemplating what she was about to say.

"I'm not sure I ever told you this, the last time Ian came to visit?" She asked, looking toward her mother.

Constance shook her head.

"It was a few years back, before Jane and I finally started dating," she laughed at how oblivious they both were, "As usual he had stopped by unannounced, which really didn't bother me as much as it probably should have, but it worked for us. He would show up periodically and we'd laugh and reminisce, cook together, be intimate- sorry," she said as she noticed her mothers face, "But it's the truth, we used each other. And for a while, it was enough. It felt good."

Maura paused to take a sip of water.

"Anyway, the last night of his visit, when he told me he had to leave suddenly, we ended up having this major heart to heart. Honestly, I don't even know how it started, I think I was upset, irrationally upset that he was leaving me again... The details of it are a bit hazy now, but somehow he knew."

"Knew what, darling?"

"That I was in love with Jane."

"What? Maura you're going to need to explain this one."

Maura laughed, "As he was packing up his things in my room, I kept going on about why he was leaving, asking why can't he stay, why can't he just stay and be with me and love me," she paused, "I'll admit, I became a bit desperate, which was very out of character for me, but I just wanted him to stay. I wanted someone to be with me. To love me. So the last thing I yelled at him was something like, 'please stay, I love you.' And he turned to me and said, 'I know you do, Maura, and I love you too. But it's not the same. It's not the same kind of love you have for Jane.'"

"And I laughed; this almost hysterical, teary laugh because he was right. He was so right. What Ian and I had was nothing like what I have with Jane, it wasn't even close to what I had with her back then when her and I were just friends."

Her mother watched on and listened closely, enjoying the moment of honesty her daughter was sharing with her.

"Ian and I... It was never a great love. We became such great friends during our time in Africa and we bonded over our experiences, but romantic love was never in the picture, not really. We shared too many long hours and horrific scenes, and perhaps a few too many bottles of cheap wine, which had led to sloppy make outs and quick, desperate attempts at release. And it worked for us, it was fun and passionate... An adventure, but somewhere along the way it got confusing, for me in particular I think. I wanted more. I wanted to believe that someone could want me like that, need me. Love me. And I know he did," she quickly rushed at the end, "but like he said, it wasn't the same. It was a different type of love."

"So you told all of this to Jane? When you were making decisions about donors?"

Maura nodded, "But that's not the part that sold her," she continued, "Later that night after Ian and I had an in-depth conversation about where we stood, our conversation had shifted to Jane and how obvious it was that I loved her, Jane showed up at my doorstep. And of course I was a mess. I was emotional and crying and she mistook the tears and the anguish to be about Ian's departure. When I had asked her, 'how can you love someone and not be able to be with them,' she assumed I was talking about Ian. But I wasn't. I was talking about her."

"Oh, Maura."

Maura wiped at the corner of her eye, "I didn't tell her that story until a year ago when we decided to try for a baby. After that revelation, she understood. She was ok with him as a donor, if he agreed."

"And he obviously agreed."

"Yes," Maura said with a breathy laugh, "He did. I had wrote him a letter actually, detailing all that had happened since he left and mentioning our thoughts on a baby and he sent me back a note that said _Finally! Of course I'll help you, just tell me when and where. I'm so happy for you, Maura. _And that was that."

"Wow, Maura, what a story."

Maura smiled, "I think that's partly why I don't want to tell anyone, it's a long story, there's a history behind it and I just don't feel like going through that with everyone. And honestly, what does it matter? She's not his daughter. Luna is my daughter and Jane's daughter. She's _ours_."

"Just like you're mine," Constance smiled, "I think you and Jane made a very smart decision. Clearly," she said as she looked down at the baby in her arms, "Look what it got you."

* * *

Later that night, after returning home from work, Jane and Maura had snuggled up on the couch together. Finally getting a moment to talk about their days.

After Maura told Jane about the day spent with her mother, she asked how Jane's first day back went.

"It was fine," Jane shrugged. "Too much paperwork and not enough baby snuggles and mommy kisses."

"Did you hear just what came out of your mouth Detective Rizzoli?" Maura teased, "It's probably for the best that you've gone back to work. You're so mushy!"

"Hey! Oh my god… you're right."

"I always am," Maura smirked before returned to a serious tone, "But we missed you, too."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: If you were disappointed with the previous chapter, or even if you enjoyed it, I encourage you to go back and read the revision. Personally, I am a lot happier with it and believe it does a much better job of explaining my choices regarding the donor and my view on Maura and Ian's relationship. I'd also love to know your thoughts on the rewrite, as I just now realized you can't review the same chapter twice... oops.

xxxx

It didn't take long for the slow days of paperwork to turn into a week from hell. Midweek into Jane's return to BPD, the team caught a double homicide; it was nothing more gruesome than anything Jane had seen before, but ever since the birth of her daughter, she saw things differently. Felt emotions more fully. She had expected this, to feel like a different person after her daughter was born, but she did not expect the changes to affect her work.

Jane struggled with the fact that here she was, looking down at two bloodied and battered corpses while her innocent baby girl was at home, snuggled up with her mommy, completely oblivious to the horrors of the world. As she should be, but the same thought kept creeping it's way to the forefront of Jane's mind as she worked: _How do I protect her? How do I shield her from the evil in this world?_

True to Jane's character, she kept those thoughts to herself; let her emotions, fears and frustrations bottle up inside her and instead focused all of her energy into the case. She worked until she burnt herself out and Cavenaugh had forced her to take a break and go home.

Jane got home shortly after midnight and while she knew she should just take a shower and go to sleep; rest up for the next day of work, she found herself feeling too riled up and frustrated. So, instead of joining Maura in bed, she headed straight to the one room in the house, aside from the bedroom, where she could relieve her stress.

xxxx

Maura heard the garage door open and was relieved that her wife was finally home. Frost had been filling her in throughout the week, explaining to her that this particular case was hitting Jane hard, for a reason he did not disclose. Maura was grateful to Barry for keeping her in the loop, otherwise she'd have no idea what was causing Jane's moods and distance from her.

When fifteen minutes had passed and Jane hadn't even come in to hold Luna or kiss Maura's cheek, Maura slipped out of bed, wrapped herself up in a robe and headed down the hall in search of the detective.

She found her in the yoga, turned yoga-boxing room, aggressively pounding her fists into the red Everlast punching bag that hung from the ceiling in the corner of the room.

Knowing better than to come up behind her, Maura paused in the entryway and softly called, "Jane?"

A loud smack filled the room as Jane turned to glance at Maura before returning her attention to the bag in front of her. _Jab, jab, hook._

Maura took a step into the room, "Jane," she said again.

Jane sighed, "Maura, I _really_ don't want to talk right now."

"Ok," Maura said, trying not to sound too dejected, "We don't have to talk. Do you mind if I just sit here?" She asked, making her way over to the cushioned bench under the windowsill.

"Whatever," Jane mumbled as she continued to pound her fists.

Maura knew Jane was just frustrated, but it was hard to be on the receiving end of her displaced aggression.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Maura said quietly, "I understand you're upset and this is your way of dealing with things that are hard for you, but I wish you wouldn't take it out on me."

Jane punched her fist hard against the bag, the noise echoing throughout the room, "Goddammit, Maura, this is _exactly_ why I don't want to talk to you right now! Jesus."

So they stopped talking.

Jane continued to beat the heavybag in front of her and Maura sat in silence, doing her best not to cry. She instead focused her attention on the detective's back, watching her muscles twist with each punch and the sweat that dripped slowly down her neck and disappeared beneath her sports bra.

Time passed, both of them lost in their own thoughts when Maura noticed a change in Jane's demeanor. Noticed her shoulders slump forward, her forehead and still-clenched fists resting against the bag.

"I'm sorry," Jane managed to get out, "I'm sorry, I just…I can't…"

Her shoulders began to shake and Maura was on her feet.

"I just wanna protect her," she choked, "I...I want to protect her."

"Oh, Jane," Maura whispered as she came up behind her wife, resting a comforting hand on Jane's damp back.

The gentle touch caused Jane to lose it completely. She turned away from the bag and fell into Maura's arms, sobbing into her neck.

"Shh," Maura cooed, almost as if she were comforting her own daughter, "It's alright, sweetheart," she said as one hand found it's way to Jane's curls while the other helped keep her upright.

"I'm sorry," Jane repeated again and again against Maura's skin.

"Shh," Maura said before placing a kiss on top of Jane's head, "Come on," Maura whispered as she directed Jane down the hall towards their room, never breaking their embrace.

Maura ushered Jane into the bathroom and sat her down on the edge of the tub before stepping into the shower to turn on the spray.

She walked back over to her wife and stood directly in front of her, between her legs. It was the first time since the case began that they'd spent more than twenty minutes together, aside from sleeping. Maura reached down and cupped Jane's face with her hands, guiding Jane to look at her. She noticed the dark circles under her eyes and creases on her forehead, the added puffiness from crying.

Maura gently caressed Jane's face; slowly rubbing her thumbs to wipe away tears and trace every line with her fingertips.

She took another moment to cherish the closeness and her wife's vulnerability before helping Jane out of her sports bra and pants.

"Do you want me to stay?" Maura asked as Jane stepped in the shower.

"I… no, it's ok."

"Are you sure?"

Jane nodded.

"Alright. Take your time. I'll be in bed when you're ready," she said as she turned and headed to exit the room.

"Thank you," Jane called out.

Maura turned and smiled before leaving Jane alone to rinse off.

xxxx

After a quick shower and a moment to compose herself, Jane slipped into sweatpants and a t-shirt before joining Maura in bed.

Once under the covers, Maura turned to hit the lights and snuggled up next to Jane.

"Will you let me hold you?" she asked.

Jane answered by turning her back to Maura, allowing her wife to press up behind her and wrap an arm around her middle. Jane laced her fingers with Maura's and brought their joined hands to rest over her chest. Maura kissed her neck.

Jane enjoyed a moment of comfort before speaking, "I'm sorry."

Maura tightened her hold, "It's ok, sweetheart. I just wish you'd talk to me or let me be there for you. I know it can be hard for you, but I'm here, Jane. I'm not the enemy."

"I know."

For a while they just lay there and Jane thought Maura had fell asleep until she heard her soft voice, "Barry told me about the case."

Maura felt Jane's body tense.

"Murder suicide?"

Jane nodded. "Husband and wife," she paused, "They had a daughter."

Ah, Maura thought. This was the part Barry had left out.

"Two and a half," Jane whispered, "Two and half and her father killed her mother before offing himself."

Maura felt Jane's body tremble against her own.

"It's not fair, Maur," Jane sniffled, "That little girl… robbed of the two most important people in her life…the two people who were supposed to protect her. I just... it's not fair."

"No," Maura whispered against Jane's neck as she snuggled closer, "It's not."

xxxx

In the morning, Maura felt Jane tense when she awoke to see three red numbers flashing 9:37 AM.

"It's ok," she said as she rubbed her fingers through Jane's hair, "I called Sean. He doesn't want you to come in until this afternoon."

"But," Jane mumbled.

"But nothing, Jane. That's an order. You need to remember to take time for yourself."

Jane rolled onto her back to look up at Maura who was sitting up against the headboard with Luna in her arms.

Maura continued to massage Jane's scalp with her free hand.

"I love you," Jane said as she reached out her right hand to rest her on Maura's bare thigh before closing her eyes; enjoying the feel of Maura's skin beneath her fingertips and the feel of Maura's hand gently caressing her head.

"I love you, too."

They continued on for a few minutes longer in their silent ritual of touch and comfort.

"Come up here," Maura said after a while, "I want to show you something."

Jane rolled on her side before sitting up and snuggling in next to Maura. She looked down at Luna.

"I wanted to show you last night, but she was already asleep when you got home."

Jane looked at Maura, confused.

"Here," she said, passing their daughter over to Jane.

Once settled, Maura said, "Now rub her belly and say hello, or say anything really, but use that voice you only use for her."

Jane narrowed her eyes and Maura before cracking a smile and turning her attention to Luna. As instructed, she tickled her fingers against Lu's tummy and softly cooed, "Hey, peanut."

And there it was.

A wide, absolutely adorable, little baby smile. A real smile.

"Oh my god," Jane said, tears instantly forming in the corners of her eyes, "Lulu, look at you."

"Isn't it wonderful?" Maura asked as she looked down at their daughter, smiling just as big as both Jane and Luna.

Jane responded by nodding her head and laughing, not wanting to look away from this precious little baby who was smiling up at her. Smiling up at her mamas.

"You can't protect her from everything, sweetheart, but you can be here for her. You can make her smile, you teach her… you can love her."

More tears continued to roll down Jane's cheeks.

"That's enough, Jane. _You_ are more than enough."

xxxx

By the end of her second week back at work, the murder-suicide case closed, Jane was ready to hit the couch and snuggle up with her favorite girls the minute she walked through the front door.

Instead, the first thing she did was laugh.

There, in the middle of the living room was her daughter lying on her back on a blanket, looking up at the colorful shapes that hung from her activity gym. She was still too little to engage much, but she squirmed around excitedly and her eyes were wide as she looked at the different objects. Next to her was Maura, laying flat on her stomach, left arm spread out with her finger being tugged on by Lu. She was fast asleep.

Looks like being a full-time mama was just as exhausting as catching bad guys. Jane quietly made her way into the room and got down on her hands and knees to say hello to Lu and give her a kiss.

"Did mommy fall asleep on you?" she whispered, "Silly mommy."

Jane was rewarded with the newly famous Luna-smile and she melted for the 100th time that week. She would never tire of seeing the adorable little grin.

After another minute or two of making her daughter smile, Jane crawled over until she was hovering on all fours above her wife, who was still sound asleep with Luna's tiny hand gripped around her index finger. Jane slowly leaned down and kissed the back of Maura's neck, below her ear and the side of her face until Maura started to wake up.

For a sleepy moment, she was confused to find herself on the floor and even more confused when she rolled over onto her back to see Jane above her.

Jane lowered herself so she was straddling Maura's hips, "Rough day?" She asked with a grin.

"You're home early," Maura replied with tired voice.

"It was a long week, I had to get out of there," she said, grabbing Maura's hands and bringing them to her mouth; she kissed each palm.

Maura simply smiled at the affection.

"I just checked our calendar," Jane said as she continued to kiss each knuckle.

"Oh?" Maura replied.

"Mhmm."

"Do we have something going on tonight?" Maura asked.

"Nope. Tomorrow morning," she said with a hint of amusement as Maura's face wrinkled in confusion.

Jane laced their hands together before pinning them above Maura's head and gently lowered herself, "Someone's got their six-week postpartum checkup," she said with a wink, "And you know what that means…"

Before Maura could laugh or poke fun at her horndog of a wife, her lips became occupied by Jane's. Sweet and gentle turned warm and wet as the two explored each other's mouths with their tongues. Maura released a moan and Jane's hips jerked forward.

Reluctantly, Jane pulled back and rested her forehead against Maura's, breathing heavily.

"Well now I'm looking forward to it," Maura whispered with a laugh.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** There's a song in this. I highly recommend listening to "For Two" by Kat Edmonson. It's available on Spotify.

xxxx

Jane sat in the waiting room and alternated between making silly faces at her daughter and anxiously bouncing her knee. The six week mark had arrived and today could be the end of the, what was it now, two and half month dry spell? Ok, it wasn't _all_ dry, she'd relieved herself a few times and more recently in front of her wife, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as feeling Maura against her, beneath her, inside her, around her. She missed the sounds that escaped her wife's lips, the way her body moved and reacted to even the lightest of touches. She wanted that intimacy back. Not to say it didn't exist currently, it just wasn't the same. As much as she wanted it back, part of her felt guilty to assume that Maura would be ready just because the doctor's gave her the go ahead.

Thankfully, Jane was rescued from her thoughts when Maura emerged from the exam room. Jane stood up, greeted her with a smile and wrapped her hands around Maura's waist.

"So?" Jane said as she squeezed her wife's hips. "How'd it go?"

Maura smiled at her wife before placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"All cleared for active duty, detective."

xxxx

Later that day, Jane found her girls in their yoga/boxing room. She couldn't help but smile at the sight: Lu had her back to the mat and was looking up (and smiling) at her mommy who was in a downward facing dog pose above her. Maura leaned in and gave her daughter kisses all over her tummy and cheeks.

Jane could practically feel her heart melting. She made her way into the room and laid down on the mat next to them, happy to watch as Maura continued with a few more kisses before she moved into child's pose while her hands tickled Lu's feet. Maura tilted her head to the side in a silent greeting to her wife before she repeated the set of poses. Jane closed her eyes and smiled, content with listening to sounds of her baby gurgling and the smooching noise Maura made with each kiss.

When she opened her eyes again, Maura was hovering above her, mimicking the actions she had just completed with her daughter. Maura kissed her sweetly before she lowered herself on top of Jane, straddling her hips.

"What brings you here?" She asked as she reached over to grab Lu and laid her down on Jane's chest. "Are you here to do yoga with us or did you just want some downward doggie kisses?" She asked in a voice reserved only for her baby.

"Both?"

"Yeah right."

Jane laughed and brought her hands up to rest on Lu's tummy, tickling her. Lu grinned up at Maura.

"Is mama making you smile?" Maura cooed and leaned in to rub her nose against Lu's. She moved her hands to poke at Jane's sides, which caused her to squirm.

"Alright, alright, you got me!" Jane said through her laughter. "I didn't come in here for either of those things, but the doggie kisses were a nice surprise."

Maura stopped her actions and kissed Jane's cheek before sitting up again.

"I came in here to ask if you'd like to go out tonight. Just the two of us," Jane said and noticed Maura's mouth open. Jane continued after she sensed the question Maura was about to ask, "I already asked my Ma and she's more than happy to have some gramma time. I just thought maybe it would be nice to get out of the house and have some time together. It's been a while. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love every moment of _this_," she said, gesturing to the three of them, "but I kinda miss you," she said with a blush.

Maura smiled down at her, _what a softie_. "I kinda miss you, too. I would love that, Jane."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. A date night sounds wonderful. What did you have in mind? Nothing too fancy I hope? I don't know if I have the energy to get all dolled up."

"Maura. Have you met me?"

"True," she said with a laugh.

"Nothing fancy, maybe a step up from casual, but that's all I'm gonna tell you."

"Why am I not surprised?" Maura said. "How much time do I have?"

Jane looked down at her watch. "About two and a half hours."

"What?!"

"Oh come on, Maur. That's plenty of time!"

"Maybe pre-baby it was, but now, not only do I need to get myself ready, I need to feed Lu, pump, make sure Angela has everything she—"

"Relax. This night is not supposed to be stressful, ok? It'll be fine," she replied and slowly sat up as Maura moved to get off of her. "You go shower, I'll put Lu down for a quick nap and get a bag ready for my mom, alright? And besides, you know she lives behind us? She can come in here if she needs anything."

"You're right, you're right," Maura said. "Thank you."

"Of course. Now go," Jane replied and grabbed Lu as Maura stood to make her way to their bedroom.

xxxx

An hour and half later, after showering and applying her makeup, Maura rested against the headboard, her robe opened just enough for Luna to latch onto one breast while she tried to figure out the best way to pump from the other.

"Jane?" She called.

"Yeah?" Jane yelled back from the bathroom.

"Can you… do you think maybe you could help me?"

Jane emerged from the bathroom in dark jeans and dark t-shirt.

"Of course," she said and plopped down in front of Maura on the bed. "What can I do?"

Maura looked down at the manual breast pump in her hand before looking up at Jane. "Pump me?"

"Thank god you are holding that thing, otherwise I would've gotten the wrong impression," Jane replied with a smirk.

"Ha. Ha. Ha."

"Give it to me," she said as Maura handed her the object. "What do I do?"

"Just put your thumb here," Maura instructed, "and squeeze." Jane tested it out a couple of times. "You can go faster than that if you'd like. It doesn't hurt."

"I hope no one's listening in on the baby monitor," Jane said with a laugh, "this sounds like a bad porno or something." She adjusted her voice to go as high it would (which wasn't very) and said, "Pump me, baby. Faster! Just put your thumb right there and..."

They bursted into laughter and continued until they were both crying. By the time they were able to compose themselves, Luna was asleep and a full bottle of milk was procured.

xxxx

At seven on the dot, Angela arrived to pick up her grandbaby, eager to shower her with kisses. Even though they lived a foot away from each other, Angela insisted on setting up a room in the guest house just for Luna, complete with every little thing she might need. Totally unnecessary, but once Angela Rizzoli had her mind set on something, it was almost impossible to talk her out of it.

"There's pumped milk in the fridge and a bottle or two in the freezer as well. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call us, ok?"

"Maura, honey, I've had three babies of my own. I think I can handle it, sweetheart," Angela reassured her.

"Hey ma, give her some slack alright?" Jane said as she entered the kitchen. "It's our first time leaving her with someone aside from each other, we can be a little a nervous. Even if it is you."

"I promise. I'll call you if I need anything, but it's not likely, alright? Now go! Enjoy yourselves!" She said over her shoulder as she made her way to the back door.

"Wait!" Maura yelled and Angela turned around with Lu in her arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I just… let me say goodbye?"

Angela sighed, but couldn't help but smile. "Of course," she said as she handed her granddaughter over.

"Goodbye, sweetheart," she said in a soft voice, "I love you so much." Maura kissed the top of her head before handing her back to Angela.

"Aw, Maur. Don't," Jane said when she noticed Maura get all teary-eyed.

"I know, I know! I can't help it," Maura replied as she dabbed her eyes.

Jane smiled and walked over to kiss Luna's cheek. "Bye peanut."

"We should be back by 11," she said to her mom.

"Oh don't be silly," Angela replied. "I'll keep her overnight. You two enjoy a night of sleep."

"What? Oh no, Angela, we couldn't possibly—"

"Please, dear. I insist."

"But—"

"No buts."

Jane and Maura exchanged looks.

"At least let me feed her when we get back?"

"Deal."

xxxx

"You look sexy," Maura said playfully as they both got out of the car. She had just noticed Jane's outfit choice: dark jeans, black boots and a leather jacket. _So_ sexy.

"Why thank you," Jane replied. "As do you," she said, taking in the sight next her. Maura was wearing a simple black v-neck dress with quarter length sleeves, matching flats and a decorative scarf. Jane couldn't believe this woman had given birth just six weeks ago.

"Thank you," Maura said as she reached out to hold Jane's hand. "Will you tell me where we're going now?"

"Nope."

They continued walking down the street and turned a corner before Jane stopped in front of their destination.

Maura gasped when she realized where they were. She turned to her wife and squeezed her hand excitedly. "We haven't been here in years."

"I know," Jane replied with a smile, "That's why I thought it would be the perfect spot."

They made their way through the entrance and walked down a flight of stairs until they reached the restaurant. It was a little hole-in-the-wall basement venue with amazing food and, on the weekends, turned into a little jazz lounge with local artists. The lighting was dim and the atmosphere was energetic. The couple used to go there quite a bit when they were still dating, partly because they wouldn't run into anyone they knew, but mostly because it was so much fun.

The two were seated at a small, rounded booth with a perfect view of the stage where the next group was setting up to perform.

Maura snuggled up next to Jane's side and whispered, "This is perfect, Jane. Thank you."

Jane smiled and kissed the top of Maura's head. "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

xxxx

A few hours had passed, appetizers, entrees and desserts devoured. The two were cozied up in their booth as they watched the the band play.

"This is really nice," Jane said and squeezed Maura's hand.

Maura moved her head from where it had been resting on Jane's shoulder and looked up at her wife. She kissed her before saying, "It is. I didn't realize how much I missed just _being_ with you. Like you said earlier, it's wonderful when we're having mommy and baby time, but it's not the…" her voice trailed off as the beginning notes of the next song started to play.

"Is that…" she trailed off again as she looked toward the band.

"What?"

"Shh."

Jane also turned to look at the band and listen to lyrics.

_And as they talked the hours away  
__They knew. They knew._

It was their song. The first song they danced to as a married couple.

"Did you plan this?" Maura asked as she turned her attention back to Jane.

_And as the night became the day  
__They knew. They knew._

"I wish I did," Jane replied with a smile.

"Dance with me?" Maura asked as she gently tugged on Jane's arm. If it were any other song, Jane would've put up a fight, but with the look on Maura's face and the song pulling her back to their wedding night, she couldn't resist. She let Maura lead the way to the small dance floor.

They were the only couple dancing and neither of them cared.

_That nothing would be the same  
__And nothing would ever change  
__And everything they'd ever do  
__Now one would be for two_

Maura draped her arms around Jane's shoulders and rested her head against her chest. Jane hugged her close around the waist and closed her eyes, letting her mind fill with memories of their wedding.

_They said the words the day they wed  
__I do and I do  
__And understood the words they said were true  
__So true_

"I love you," Maura whispered, her voice shaky with emotion.

Jane pulled her closer (if that was even possible) and kissed her head. "I love you, too."

_That nothing would be the same  
__And nothing would ever change  
__And everything they'd ever do  
__Now one would be for two_

_And everything they'd ever do  
__Now one would be for two_

_Now one would be for two_

They continued dancing until the very last note echoed through the room. So caught up in their own little world, they didn't notice the clapping and cheering as they kissed.

Pulling back, Maura looked at Jane and said, "Take me home."

xxxx

They stumbled through their front entrance and Jane gently pushed Maura back against the door to trail kisses down her sensitive neck. Maura couldn't help but gasp at the sensation. It had been far too long.

Jane returned her attention to Maura's lips and slid in her tongue. They both moaned and Maura pulled her closer.

After a few minutes, Maura pulled away. "Wait, wait," she said out of breath.

"What is it?" Jane asked.

"I need to feed Lu."

Jane let out a frustrated noise before she nodded and said, "Yeah, yeah. You're right," and reluctantly let go of her wife.

"But we're not done here!" She yelled as Maura walked to the back door.

Maura shot a glance over her shoulder. "Twenty minutes. Bedroom," she replied with a smirk and headed out the door.

Jane was giddy with anticipation. She ran up the stairs two at a time.

xxxx

After feeding her daughter and reminding Angela that there was extra pumped milk in the freezer, Maura returned to the main house and discarded her scarf on one of the hooks near the door. She quietly made her way up the staircase, feeling both excited and nervous about the night ahead of her.

When she reached the bedroom, Jane had removed her jacket, jeans and boots and was sitting back against the headboard in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. She smiled when Maura walked in.

The bed was freshly made and the lights were off, except for the two on the nightstands. These two didn't require any mood setting.

Maura made her way over to bed and hopped on top of Jane, straddling her waist. Jane leaned back against the headboard and looked at Maura, gripping her hips.

"Now where were we?" Maura asked in a low voice as she leaned forward and resumed their kissing.

They continued on for a while, slowly getting reacquainted with one another. Getting used to the sensation of their tongues touching, teeth biting, hands roaming. Jane moaned as one of Maura's hands gently tangled in her hair, the other slipped under her t-shirt and caressed the warm skin of her abdomen.

Jane's hands had both slid up Maura's thighs and found themselves on her ass. She squeezed roughly and Maura let out a gasp. Jane took the opportunity to latch her mouth onto Maura's neck and sucked on that specific spot that drove her wife crazy. She squeezed harder when Maura made a noise, something between a whimper and a moan. Damn had she missed that sound.

Her mouth traveled lower until it reached Maura's collarbone. She bit down gently and Maura rolled her hips. Jane removed one hand from beneath Maura's dress and brought it around to her back. Her fingers quickly found the zipper and she pulled it down slowly.

Before she could slide it off her wife's shoulders, Maura stopped her.

"Wait," she said as she tried to control her breathing, "maybe we should turn off of the lights? And get under the covers?" Her voice was shaky.

Jane stilled her hands and dropped them down to Maura's waist. She rested her head back against the headboard and studied Maura's face. They never turned the lights off.

After a while, she reached up and gently tucked Maura's hair behind her ears before grabbing Maura's hands, giving them a comforting squeeze.

"Hey," she said in a soft voice, "what's wrong?"

"I…" Maura bites her lip and looks down at their hands. "I'm nervous," she admits in a soft voice. "I mean, I'm ready. I want this to happen, but…" she paused to sort out her thoughts, "things are… different. My body doesn't look the same as before. I've only just started up again with yoga and—" she stopped when Jane kissed her hand.

"Honey," Jane said in a voice she only used for Maura, "You're beautiful." The words left her mouth like they were the truest and easiest thing she'd ever said.

Maura's head quickly tilted up to look at her. Something between disbelief and gratitude on her face.

"You're so beautiful," Jane repeated, "and you just had a baby. _Our_ baby." She paused to smile at Maura and to place her hands on her stomach. "Your body made a baby, Maur, and that's beautiful."

"Jane," Maura whispered, her voice full of emotion.

"Maura I love you, stretch marks and all. Let me see you, please? Let me remind you how incredibly beautiful I think you are, ok?" She asked as she rested her hands on Maura's cheeks.

"Please?" She asked again.

Maura smiled and nodded her head before she leaned in to kiss her wife. "I love you so much, Jane."

"I know," Jane said between kisses, "I love you, too."

They kissed for a few minutes longer before Jane's hands settled on Maura's thighs. She looked to Maura once again for approval before she slowly pulled the dress up and over her wife's head. Maura nervously watched Jane's eyes as they roamed over her body. Even after Jane's heartfelt words, she couldn't fight the hint of nerves that still lingered.

Jane's hands gently trailed up her back and paused at her bra.

"Do you want to leave this on?" She asked, knowing how tender and sore they could be.

And in that moment, the fear that Jane would judge her, or somehow feel disappointed, disappeared. This woman was the love of her life. How could she be so silly to think that Jane would ever look at her with anything but love and respect? She couldn't help the tears that trickled down her cheeks at the thoughtfulness.

She nodded.

"Ok," Jane said with an understanding smile and gently repositioned them until Maura was lying flat on her back with Jane straddling her waist.

Jane lifted her own shirt up and over her head before she looked down at her wife. She rubbed her thumbs over Maura's tear stained cheeks.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

Maura nodded. "I just love you so much and I feel very lucky to have you."

"Me too," Jane replied simply and honestly before she leaned in for a kiss.

The rest of her movements were slow and sweet and gentle. She took her time as she kissed her favorite freckles, watched goose bumps form on Maura's chest when she nipped at her collarbone, listened to the breathy sighs of pleasure that escaped Maura's lips when her tongue trailed along the expanse of her neck. She smiled into another kiss before she slowly moved down her wife's body.

She shifted herself down the bed and settled between Maura's legs. Jane placed her right elbow next to Maura's hip and rested her head against her palm. Maura watched her curiously as Jane reached out with her left hand and to softly traced her fingertips over every stretch mark. Most of the them were light and blended with Maura's skin, some were different shades of pink and Jane could feel the small ridges beneath her fingers.

"So beautiful," she whispered before she kissed the area around Maura's bellybutton.

Maura, as hard she tried, couldn't keep her tears at bay. She let them roll down her cheeks as her wife continued on a sweet exploration of her body.

Several moments later, Jane crawled back up Maura's body and rested on top of her. She propped herself up on an elbow. They kissed and Jane slowly rolled her hips against Maura's thigh.

Jane's left hand traveled down Maura's torso and stopped just as her fingertips touched the fabric of her underwear. She paused and pulled away from their kiss when she felt Maura flinch against her touch.

"I'll be gentle, I promise," Jane whispered and kissed the corner of Maura's mouth.

Maura nodded and replied, "I trust you."

With that, Jane slipped her hand beneath the fabric. She was surprised at what she felt. Or rather, what she _didn't_ feel. She looked at Maura.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just…"

Maura slipped her own hand beneath the cotton barrier and noticed the problem.

"Jane I'm sorry," she said softly. "It's not that I'm not aroused, it's just that breastfeeding and hormones can sometimes affect the body's...natural lubricant," she said, knowing the term would make Jane cringe. But it didn't.

"Shh. Maura, honey. It's okay," she said with a smile. "You don't need to apologize. We don't need to go that far tonight."

Maura was in awe (yet again) at her wife's understanding.

Jane kissed her cheek and moved her fingers to rest on Maura's bundle of nerves. "Is this ok?" She asked as her fingers started to gently move in a circular motion.

Maura gasped and nodded her head; her hands wrapped around Jane to hold her closer as they kissed.

Jane continued to work her fingers as her tongue slid against Maura's and her hips rocked forward. It only took a few more motions of her hand before Maura cried out in pleasure. Jane collapsed next to her and pulled Maura close.

It wasn't the most mind-blowing orgasm Maura had ever had, but it didn't matter. That wasn't what it was about. It was about being close again, letting Jane see her and touch her. It was about trust. It was about love.

Jane felt a tear drop roll down her chest as Maura sniffled against her.

"Thank you," Maura whispered, "for being so gentle and understanding."

"Of course, Maur. I love you."

"I love _you_."

xxxx

Eight hours later, Maura was the first to wake up. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the feeling of being well-rested for the first time in months. So instead, she did neither and opted for a better way to start her morning and utilize the energy she felt. She quietly slid beneath the covers, removed an article of clothing and peppered kisses along the inside of Jane's thighs.

"Mmmpf," Jane mumbled and, still half-asleep, shifted her legs to give Maura more room.

Maura took the opportunity to run her tongue along her center.

That got Jane up. She quickly pulled the blanket off of her and moaned at the sight of her wife between her legs.

Maura laughed against her, the vibrations causing Jane to thread a hand through Maura's hair.

"Fuck," she panted.

"Good morning," Maura replied smugly before continuing her actions.

"_Great_ morning," Jane sighed.


End file.
